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Tuesday, June 9, 2009

"Rosemary, come here NOW!!!!!"

I'm sitting at my computer around 5ish this afternoon and Mallory & Garrison are outside in the back yard (throwing rocks at each other I'm sure). Browder had been in the driveway riding his bike and back & forth to the back yard, but was now inside. Jeff had just got home from jogging and I hear "Rosemary, oh my &*#, I don't know what to do, come here NOW!!!!!" and maybe another phrase or two. He's standing at the garage door frozen with Browder behind him and this is what he is looking at!!!!!!!!!!!!! Talk about FREAKING OUT!! I ran out in the back yard and grabbed the little ones and threw them inside. I'm yelling "call Mike, call Russell, call Rob, who can we call???" Finally we come to our senses and come up with the plan that Jeff is going to run over the snake since it's right behind his tire, so he sneaks out to the back yard and in to the garage through the outside door while I stand at the door and motion to him whether or not the snake is moving. Next picture...

This is Jeff scaling the side of his car and my Suburban, as quiet as a mouse, trying to get inside his car so he can run over the snake. His feet are not touching the ground! The goal is for the snake not to hear them (do they have ears?) and crawl away (or crawl IN to our garage).

Jeff runs over the snake multiple times while on his cell phone talking to me (inside) and I'm motioning to him what is going on. He's finally gets the head & part of the tail pinned. Meanwhile, the rest of the snake (below) is squirming like crazy!! The first few times he runs over it it rolls/coils up in to a wad (in defense I guess?). You would think an SUV would flatten it automatically, but this is not the case.

We "watch" the snake for a good 10 minutes. It is still moving and we're trying to determine if it could be alive! JUST IN CASE... Jeff gets a shovel out of the storage room (after consulting with the Owens who are now in the driveway watching from their truck). Rob did get out and coach Jeff I think while me & Susan took pictures!! Jeff then stabs the snake about 28 times with the shovel until it is fo sho dead. There are dents in our concrete where he was beating it!! Yes, this is Jeff on top of his car. We were not taking any chances of that thing escaping!!
And finally... Chris, our outdoorsy camping-type friend who lives a street over, stops by and picks the snake up without batting an eye. He examines it's head, teeth, etc. while Jeff & I keep a safe 3 ft distance. He identifies it as a "chicken snake" which, I guess, equates to a rat snake or similar non-poisonous reptile?? Nonetheless, the thing is as tall as I am and was slithering in to my garage!!!!!!!!!!! Jeff & I ARE NOT snake people. HATE THEM!! I don't know which one of us was more freaked out?? And to think that my kids were all outside - Browder was JUST in the driveway maybe 5 minutes earlier. Jeff was out there too, and spent most of yesterday afternoon mowing the yard, spraying for bugs, etc - he was all over the yard!Anyway, it is now in the ditch behind our house, which is probably where it came from in the first place. Don't think we won't be on the horn tomorrow with Sturbridge and/or the City about coming to bush hog that ditch like every other day for the rest of the summer!! It has been an interesting day! While all this drama was going on, Garrison was pouring purple gatorade on the den wall and floor. Hopefully the kids will "forget" any bad words they heard today! I'm hoping to "forget" about the snake by the end of the week! This was our first in 7 yrs living here, so hopefully it's our last for another 7.


Anonymous said...

OMG I would probably have to move if that were in my driveway. I am TERRIFIED of snakes. Just looking at your photos creeps me out.

janny said...

I am freaked about that snake!!!

Cindy said...

I am laughing so hard at this story! The best part is that you were taking pictures during all of this.

A friend sent me the link to your blog a few months ago. I love your embroidery work. I'm new to embroidering and your tips and ideas have helped me tremendously.

Julie Lopez, designer said...

I am still killing myself over this story & its priceless photography!!! Over everything else, let me just tell you how much I appreciate your usage of the pop culture phrase "fo sho" in the narrative....HEE-LARIOUS!!!! Best if luck with no more ditch visitors!